If you’ve never had children before, it’s easy to make the snap judgment that having one is the same as having many. The reality is that every pregnancy and every child is different, and motherhood is always an individual journey.

Being a mother of a newborn looks like it should be perfect. Little ones are miracles and blessings, and you should appreciate each second because it goes so fast. So they say. But when you’re immersed in living the experience, it’s not as simple as it sounds.

Whether you’ve already been there or this is your first time entering motherhood, here are 7 things you should know that no one talks about.

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1. Birthing a Child Needs Recovery Time

Childbirth is discussed as an essential part of having a baby. Experts warn you that it will be painful, but what they rarely talk about is the recovery. Instead, new moms are expected to go through the trauma of labor, which can be hours or longer of intense pain, and then jump straight into the role of caregiver to their infant.

Don’t forget that your body has just endured a traumatic event, and your hormones and organs are attempting to readjust. Give yourself time to heal before you head back into your normal responsibilities.

2. Tiredness is Inevitable

Again, see number one. You’re still healing. Yet, you can’t get the sleep you’ll need to recover because your infant is waking up every few hours (or more frequently) demanding your attention. You’re mentally and physically stressed, upset with yourself at what you see as a “weakness,” and tired. Sleep deprivation can last about two years. Give yourself the grace to be tired and cranky occasionally, and take a nap when you can.

3. You May Miss Being Pregnant

For nine and a half months, you waited to feel that precious bundle of joy in your arms. Yet, once you give birth, you may miss feeling those little kicks and hiccups and movements that reminded you that you were creating a human. It’s normal to feel nostalgia for that time, but try to enjoy the moment instead of wishing for the “easier” times of pregnancy.

4. It’s Always an Adjustment

Regardless of how many children you have, it’s always going to take time to adjust to another one. Tell yourself to expect an adjustment period of six to eight weeks, and be patient with yourself, your spouse, your family, and your other children while you’re all trying to get used to this new life in your home.

5. You Can Do It All, But You Shouldn’t

You’ve proven that you are capable of producing miracles, so why can’t you give birth, take care of an infant, feed yourself and your baby, clean your home, and do it all with a smile?

The truth is that you are able to do amazing things, and you can push yourself harder and harder and handle it physically. But the toll it takes isn’t worth it. Ask for help, accept help, and cut out things that are not essential while you’re healing and adjusting. If your laundry doesn’t get done for a couple of months, or your toilets don’t get cleaned, the world won’t end.

6. You’ll Feel Emotional

From the time you get pregnant until long after you give birth, your hormones are adjusting. They’re most rampant after childbirth, though, causing you to have serious mood swings and episodes of depression.

These “baby blues” are normal in the first few weeks after childbirth. However, if they last longer than that, talk to your doctor or a trusted loved one about the potential that you may have postpartum depression.

7. The Basics Become Extras

Let’s face it. It doesn’t sound too hard, but when you’re the one caring for your infant, it can be all-consuming. Basics like taking a shower, cleaning your house, or talking to your friends become extra non-essentials that require too much energy to handle.

Don’t feel guilty about this. You’ll slowly bring all of those things back into your day as you feel like you can take them on. Just remember to avoid isolating yourself because that can be a slippery slope into depression, and your friends and loved ones can help you get back to being yourself faster.