Blog
Hosting Holidays After a Split: Tips for Making Celebrations Feel Normal
https://images.pexels.com/photos/6139349/pexels-photo-6139349.jpeg
Holiday celebrations after divorce can be hard.
There's no getting around that fact.
Kids are feeling the change in dynamic. The house doesn't feel the same. And the pressure to "keep things normal" for the sake of the holidays can be exhausting.
Nearly 40% of divorced parents report constant conflict over holiday arrangements.
The good news? Celebrations don't have to feel draining. With a little planning and lots of grace, hosting the holidays after a split is totally doable.
Let's dig into how to make it happen.
What you'll pick up here:
Why Holidays Are So Stressful After Divorce
How Fair Property Division Impacts Holiday Celebrations
5 Tips for Hosting Happy Holiday Celebrations
The Importance of Staying Present
Why Holidays Are So Stressful After Divorce
Most holidays revolve around tradition. The same house. Same decorations. Same people sitting around the table.
When you divorce, all of that disappears overnight.
Children may be splitting holidays between two homes now. Some family members may not know where to go. And if you're hosting the kids for Thanksgiving or Christmas, you're doing it alone.
The stress of uncertainty starts long before the holidays arrive.
The problem actually begins earlier in the divorce process. When you are dividing assets, furniture and your family home— big questions are left unanswered.
Where will next year's holidays take place? Who gets to host? Will the kids even want to come over?
Working with a Property Division Lawyer in Arkansas can prevent these uncertainties from ruining your holiday celebrations. A fair property division gives you clarity on where you stand. Including who gets to keep the family home, how shared assets will be divided, and what living arrangements look like for you (and your kids) moving forward. Nailing property division early on can alleviate a lot of stress that would otherwise come when the holidays roll around.
When you know where you'll be spending next year's holidays, you can start planning.
Fair property division allows you to focus on creating new traditions.
How Fair Property Division Impacts Holiday Planning
Nobody thinks about how divorce property division plays into holiday celebrations down the road. But it absolutely does.
If one parent gets to keep the family home and another parent is moved into a studio apartment— holidays are going to look a lot different for each family.
One parent might feel like they can't host the way they used to. The other might feel pressure to keep things "normal" for as long as possible.
Nobody wins when there's an imbalance.
Getting a fair property settlement gives both parents equal ground. Financial stability for both parties means everyone has the ability to host happy holidays. And let's face it… Approximately 22 million kids have a parent that lives outside of their home. That's millions of families that have to figure out holiday celebrations across two (or more) separate households. Making sure everyone is on equal footing when the property division settlement is made makes the transition easier in the long run.
5 Tips for Hosting Happy Holiday Celebrations
Hosting happy holidays isn't luck. There are specific things you can do to help your celebrations run smoothly.
Here are 5 top tips for parenting through the holidays post-divorce.
Create New Traditions
Stop trying to re-create the way things used to be.
Kids are excited for something new. Don't feel like you have to cook the exact same recipes. Or go shopping for the same video games or toys.
New traditions are the best way to create new happy memories.
You could create new traditions by simply decorating your home differently. Or watching a new Christmas movie each year as a family. Don't feel like you have to keep the old traditions alive if they don't serve you and your kids anymore.
Plan the Schedule in Advance
Waiting until Thanksgiving week to finalize your custody schedule is asking for arguments.
Bringing up custody schedules over holidays should be done well in advance. If kids are spending Thanksgiving at your house, you need to plan those holiday celebrations around that.
Schedules should be locked in way before Halloween.
Both parties need to agree to the custody schedule and be okay with it. Of course, life happens and things come up. But flexibility should only be allowed if both parents agree.
Keep Things Simple
Kids don't need extravagant celebrations to have a good time.
It's common for recently divorced parents to feel the need to "one up" the other parent.
If your ex spouse is buying your kids expensive new gadgets every holiday, don't feel the need to match them gift for gift.
Kids care about time spent with you, more than anything.
They don't care if your turkey isn't stuffed with twenty different ingredients. All they want is to feel safe and loved. Focus on keeping things simple and enjoyable. That is more than enough.
No Badmouthing
If there's one rule to follow during holidays—it's this.
You should never allow kids to feel uncomfortable around either parent during celebrations.
Badmouthing the other parent will taint the holidays for your kids. No matter how difficult the divorce was, children should never be put in the middle.
Create a safe space for your kids to enjoy themselves.
They will feel happier knowing their parents are on good terms. Instead of talking about the divorce, focus on discussing the fun holiday activities you have planned.
Invite Others for Support
Did someone say "friendsgiving?"
If you're nervous about hosting kids on your own come holidays. Bring friends.
Invite your sibling to come over and help you cook. Ask your parents if they'd like to stop by.
Having supportive people around will make everyone feel better.
The more family and friends you have around, the more normal holidays will feel.
Focus on What Matters
Between rushing to the stores before items sell-out and worrying about who's going to host where— parents forget what really matters during holidays.
Kids want to feel safe. Loved. Included.
If you can provide that for them this holiday season. Your celebrations will be a hit.
Bringing It All Together
Holidays with kids post-divorce can be stressful. But remember:
Take comfort in knowing your property & financial situation is sorted
Don't cling to the past. Create NEW traditions
Schedule custody arrangements as early as possible
Kids don't need extravagant celebrations to have fun
Lean on friends and family for support
Most importantly… stay in the present. Kids will take notice if you do!
Comments